top of page

Running away from life, from yourself in the name of spirituality

Pains of love & life push many onto the Spiritual Path (as laid down by Eastern Standards). Yes! That's the idea. Suffering throws you in search of yourself, in search of Ultimate Truth. But that's not what some of you are doing. You got it all wrong!

Love & Life
Love & Life

Suffering from this world, the life pushes one onto the spiritual path so one can find oneself and one can find the Ultimate Truth. That's how it is supposed to be. Realization of #MayaMatrix, the futility of everything, life without any purpose & meaning.

Note: Here, in this article 'Spiritual Path', 'Spiritual Journey' means the way it is explained by the Eastern World/Gurus. For Westerners, Spiritual Path/Journey could mean something else and I am not referring to 'that something else' here. This article is for those who run towards Eastern Philosophies, Methods, Systems, Gurus, Ashrams, Monasteries, Yoga & Meditation in search of themselves & ultimate truth. The definition of 'Enlightenment & Self-Realization' is also as per the Eastern Spiritual Systems and it doesn't mean something that casually just switches on the light-bulb in your brain and puts you in awe.

Many young people in their 20(s), 30(s) and even 40(s) these days turn towards spirituality (as defined by Eastern world, not by Western) due to #suffering in life, related to job, career, finances, family and most importantly love. Yes, most of them are beaten by love in one way or the other.

After all pain and separation in #love or #loveless life hurts the most. What to do? Most of you can't go to your friends, family and cry about it. You can't stay indulgent in one way or the other for long.

After sulking for some time your #ego says enough, I am not a crybaby, I will not surrender like this, I will not cry any more, I can live without love/lover. I am alone sufficient to create meaningful & purpose driven life. And your mission starts.

What mission? Spiritual? No, No, No!

Building a safety net.

When crushed in love, through life, you realize your #vulnerability, you think of hiding behind seven layers, you start building a safe where you can keep your heart, your inner child, the love within.

You start building an #armour that you can wear in all those vulnerable moments. You are looking for safety, a safe haven. And spiritual life, spiritual principles, spiritual journey, spiritual gurus, ashrams, monasteries, satsang, sangha are the best thing to hide behind with dignity.

That beaten up ego of yours now becomes Spiritual. This #SpiritualEgo teaches you to "avoid normal human life". It preaches you about celibacy, no drinking, being vegan, not feeling your emotions to the core, avoiding people/company, crying about other's energy, a mistranslation of all normal human life concepts. And whenever your intellect even tries to question what is it that you are trying to do? Then your ego forcibly turns your neck towards spiritual people, perhaps serious (real) spiritual seekers and/or monks and to you, it appears that yes, that's what even they are doing. And by the lifestyle, from the outside, you start becoming like them. You even take a few initiations & courses to add onto the glory and strength of that spiritual ego. You do your spiritual practice to satisfy your ego, it does not transform you even a nano-millimetre, but so what it fans the fire of your ego, it gives you the safety net and it keeps you safe like a baby.

Swan/Spirituality & You the baby
Swan/Spirituality & You the baby

When after decades you reach no-where through your spiritual-journey then you, your ego starts collecting the names and biographies of all those seekers to whom it took a whole lifetime or many lifetimes to attain #Enlightenment. And you continue superficially justifying delays in your heart.

Some of you are convinced that those who are #Enlightened are special in one way or the other. And you leave the path with the conviction that you are a mere poor mortal. Some of you become frustrated enough due to no-results and go back to the worldly life, this time even with much force of attachment and indulgence after all you suppressed yourself for so long.

Enough is Enough. Don't fool yourself. You can't fool the Guru, he/she lives within you but plays your game of denial, emotional, egotistical keep-up just like mother plays with her child and at times loses a game or two for child's satisfaction. But remember she stops playing after some time!

At this stage, forget about spirituality, you have no idea about damn humanity in yourself. Stop running away from yourself.

Those who progress on the spiritual path, whom I call Seekers (rest of all I call Bleakers) do not start on the spiritual path in order to build a safety net, they start on this path to break any and every safety net. They do not come to the Guru to hide their one or two vulnerabilities, they come to the Guru to be vulnerable inch by inch and stand stark naked. They do not come to the Guru to save their face, ego, self-image instead they come to the Guru to break any and all faces, self-images that they have created. They do not come to the Guru to save their false pride, they come to the Guru to vanish the vanity altogether. They do not come to the Guru to save their Masculinity or Femininity, they come to give up all gender identifications and be Androgynous/Ardhanarishwara. They do not come to the Guru as they are afraid of the Darkness within, instead, they come to the Guru so they can embody the Dark before they embody Light. They do not tell Guru, I can do this and I cannot do this, they do whatever is needed. They do not come to the Guru to put up a face, Seekers come to the Guru to surrender all heads.

The spiritual path is trodden by Courageous Ones Only. Rest of you might be prodding wherever, it's not Spiritual Path though. You might be journeying in your mind to the moon, but you are not moving a millimetre on Spiritual Path.

Seekers are those who have the Courage to break themselves, dig deep within and peel themselves. Those who are not afraid of wildness within. Those who are not afraid of themselves.

Those who have the courage to go against the family, society, rules, world, Maya Matrix if needed. Those who have the Courage to experience the heights & depths of dark human nature and still not be affected by it, still come out untainted. Those who have the Courage to embody the darkness within. Those who do not fear different faces and forms of Shakti/Power within. Seekers are Warriors. Courage is not a mental attitude and physical strength. Courage comes out of the heart.

Spiritual Journey is not for fearful ones. Who are fearful of love, of sex, of their own biology, relationships and life itself. Be human first, before you can be divine. Live life, see the dance of dark & light and all shadows in between. Live and accept your human nature first. First embody the human within, before you can embody anything else.


The first challenge for you in this lifetime is "giving up your fear". Fear of love, fear of sex, fear of your own biology, fear of relationships, fear of hurting loved-ones, fear of losing the loved-ones, fear of society, fear of loss of self-image, fear of losing yourself completely in one or many ways, fear of facing yourself, fear of letting go, fear of being vulnerable, fear of being alone, fear of meaningless life, fear of burning in hell, fear of being punished after death, fear of being punished through life, fear of death. Give up fear of Beauty, Wildness and Chaos. Stop mental and emotional decoration of your fears.

#Vasana of Fear must be gone 100% before you can think of yourself as "Spiritual". You are into the Business of Fear, into saving yourself in thousand ways, while spirituality means burning yourself every moment as a fuel into the fire of life & death. Giving your own Ahuti/Swaha!

How do you give up fear? By doing exactly that which makes you fearful or go on doing your Kriya Sadhana.

Be #Shakti first, ultimate courageous, wild, powerful, embodying dark & light both, before you can be #Shiva!


Jay Shivay,


127 views0 comments


bottom of page