Normal people have one use of being judgmental, Spiritual seekers have another. While Gurus have yet another.
How many hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades you spent judging others & yourself? Countless. Right? As if most of your time goes into just that. Is being judgmental so bad? No, it is not if you are conscious about it. If it's not your unconscious habit. If you are actually 100% conscious about it then it can serve a really beautiful purpose. Let's understand.
Normal People - Hiding their own Vasanas
When "being judgmental" about yourself and/or others is an "unconscious habit" of yours then it doesn't do any good to you or others. That's what most people are doing and that's why we think being judgmental is bad. It's not that being judgmental is bad, being unconscious about anything is not good for you. Eating, walking, working, breathing or doing anything else unconsciously is not good for you or others around you. Hence so much emphasis on Spiritual Journey, because it's all about becoming more and more #Conscious.
When being judgmental is your unconscious habit then "what exactly" are you doing?
Humans have Vasanas (#Chitta-Vritti or Sanskaras or #Unconscious/#Compulsive Mental/Emotional Patterns). When you are analysing and judging others you are actually analysing their Vasanas (mostly bad ones) and through judgment, you are highlighting their Vasanas.
This is a good way to "hide your own bad Vasanas". Whenever you are judging others, it means you do not want to throw light on yourself and you want to stay hidden, under the cover. Your energy is outward, your mind is exploring others instead of exploring yourself. You are attempting to understand another person than yourself. You will then expect a change, an improvement in the other person, not yourself.
Did you get your life energy for yourself or for others? You are breathing, eating, sleeping, spending mental energy for yourself or for others? Using my breath, my energy, my mind, my energy I should be improving myself, my life first or others? How silly is this? If I have "one lamp" should I be lighting my house first or someone else's? And that unconscious judgment about others you think is "right"? If that "one lamp" that you have was of any use, you could have used it in your house. If your mind, emotions, energy were that pure you could have used it on yourself. But it is not. It is bad for you and yet you go on using it on others. Yet Do Not Stop it. Just be Conscious about it.
You can only go so far as hiding and escape. You are not spending your Vasanas instead, your Vasanas are spending you. Stop this self-denial. If you do not wake up, do not become conscious of what you are doing then you will end up suffering a lot.
Here is how: Slowly you will turn into a person who endlessly goes on judging himself/herself.
If you spend most of your time in unconsciously judging yourself then you are harming yourself, demeaning yourself. You do not accept your powerlessness, being human, your mistakes easily and disown, abandon, deny the pain that it gave you or is still giving you. You are fighting within and creating even more pain. Medically it is termed as "#Depression". Most of the time you stay in #Anxiety and #Stress because of continuous unconscious analysis and judgment for yourself. You need to become Conscious about this unconscious habit, get up and "accept yourself as is". Accept that you are fabulously faulty. Accept all your pain. That's it. That will be the end of this suffering.
Being Judgmental is not bad, Being Unconscious is Bad, Harmful.
Spiritual Seekers - To see their own Reflection
When you are consciously walking your spiritual path then also most of your thoughts are about judging yourself or others. After some practice, you can easily become conscious about your thoughts and through self-questioning & analysis you can actually see your own #reflection.
Your analysis and judgment about others are actually not about others, in fact, is about yourself. If you analysed and judged that someone else around you is very jealous, then somewhere deep down actually you have jealousy. It's just that you have learned to hide it and it doesn't come out through your behaviour and that's why you got a jealous person around you to remind you of your own hidden jealousy.
If you analysed and judged that someone else around you is highly judgmental then that means actually you go on judging yourself a lot, to the extent that it has become continuous, compulsive unconscious mental activity. Hence you got a really judgmental person around you to remind you, to make you conscious about your own unconscious judging habit about yourself.
Depressed people usually have a lot of judgmental people around them and they complain that those people and the world around do not understand them, do not help them. While the Truth is that the depressed person became depressed because he/she was highly judgmental about himself/herself. Depressed people do not understand themselves and are not helping themselves, hence their situation continues. People, the world around them is simply reflecting what is within them.
It's the same thing with "all #Vasanas". Each Vasana that you have within, that you are unconscious about, or you are doing nothing about is reflected through another person and/or situation around you.
Know that entire Universe all around is "reflecting you only".
You can use this reflection to fix yourself, improve yourself. The world, people, situations around you are like mirrors. So you are living and breathing in a mirrored room. Using this method you can fix yourself really fast. This was my spiritual path, my way of seeing and removing my own Vasanas.
I did not run away from the world in the name of the spiritual journey, I did not seclude myself instead made the best use of what I was given. If you are living in the world and have people around you then you can also do this. It's the fastest way, because other's words, actions, reactions, behaviour provokes us "instantly", highlights our Vasanas easily. When you stay conscious about it, you catch it right away.
You can practice this even when you live alone. Because people, situations actually live in your head as thoughts. So unless you got rid of your thoughts & emotions you can use this technique of reflection.
As a spiritual seeker, you can be conscious and use your judging ability to remove your Vasanas.
GURU - Separates the Jeeva (Individual) from Atma (Soul)
When you meet the Self-Realized Guru he/she looks at you and at first, the Brahm, the Light within you shines as is. Guru sees What Is. That which is all-pervading, omnipresent. Not what "you are not". Guru sees just "THAT/Self/Supreme Consciousness", as that's all there is.
Then the Self-Realized Guru sees the Guru Tattva or Cosmic Guru or Sadh Guru and realizes it's all-pervading presence, within and without.
Then in that Guru Tatva, your Jeeva means your Ego, Mind, Emotions, Body, Karma, Vasanas and all that you are NOT is reflected clearly. And that's when Guru starts seeing "That which you are Not". That which he/she has to remove because it is like a dirt on the mirror, the reflective surface of the Guru Tattva, Cosmic Guru, Sadh Guru.
The Self-Realized Guru is never judging you, the other, because there is no other. He/She is simply seeing/describing the dirt that has just appeared on the crystal clear mirror, the illumined face of Sadh Guru, the Cosmic Guru, the Self-Realized Guru himself/herself.
By and by Sadh Guru goes on diligently cleaning that dirt from his/her own face. Makes a whole lot of efforts to remove all that you are not and helps you reveal your True Self. Because when you will become your True Self, then again that mirror, Cosmic Guru will be clean/clear, shining again and there will be no dirt.
Self-Realized Guru is in Eternal Surrender to the Guru Tattva, Cosmic Guru.
Not all of you Surrender enough to be reflected completely in the Sadh Guru, the Cosmic Guru. You are reflected, the extent you Surrender to yourself, to your own efforts, your spiritual journey. You become You only to the extent you Surrender.
What are you waiting for?
Just surrender yourself to you out of love.